A Halloween Homecoming

Let me begin this post with a disclaimer... please show me some grace as I can all but guarantee this post will have numerous typos and grammar errors. I'd even bet some if it will make no sense at all in some sections. Cause you see, our little girl came home last night!!!! I've slept about a total of 32 minutes b/c protective dad instincts are in full gear causing me to have to check on Harper about every 1.32 minutes to ensure she's doing okay. After the 100th check today she's still doing great but darn it I'm still checking and won't stop again for another 25 years.

While we're so elated to have her home the crazy thing is this past week started with quite a bit of drama. It was Monday afternoon, Harper was progressing quite nicely on learning how to feed on her own and I was holding her on my chest after one of her successful feeding times. It was around 4:45 and I was about to give her back to Beth before I had to go to a commitment that evening. Just as I was about to hand her over, Harper had one of those "Brady" events where she stops breathing. She went completely pale, went limp as a noodle, and stopped breathing for what felt like an eternity, but in reality was only around 5 seconds. She snapped out of it on her own and afterwards Beth and I were much more freaked out then Harper, who was back to normal in seconds. The nurses assured us it was no big deal and that the other preemies have Brady's much worse then what Harper was having but that didn't help calm us down all that much, especially since this time she was on my chest when the whole thing happened.

The most crappy thing about it was that we instantly knew right when Harper had that Brady that she'd be there in the NICU for another 5 days. Studies have shown that when a baby goes 5 consecutive days without a Brady that they typically will no longer have them, hence the hospital standard not to release a baby without 5 consecutive days of no Brady's. So when that happened we immediately knew Saturday would be the earliest she'd be released, barring another Brady, which after that episode seemed likely. But to our delight, and Harper's determination, she didn't have one more.

At 4:30 last night we were discharged from the hospital and given our child to finally join our home. After a 30 minute ride home from the hospital, which typically is 10 minutes but you better believe I wasn't going over 10 miles an hour on that drive so it took a bit longer, we made it home. Harper genuinely seemed happy to be home and was insistent on being held every waking minute which is completely fine by mom and dad.

This has been a tremendous journey, probably the most emotional, exhausting, character building life experience we've ever been through. I've learned a few things from this ordeal...

• That plans can change and look drastically different then we envision and it's in those circumstances that magical things happen. Let me be frank, this completely sucked, but it gave us an opportunity to train under incredible nurses for a month on how to properly care for Harper. It taught us that patience is a key virtue of being a parent and that sometimes we have to put our agenda aside so that our child can develop her own. But most importantly, to completely and utterly rely on God and realize that our lives are in His almighty hands and His love will always see us through.
• That my wife is the most incredible lady on the planet. You know... I was talking to some high school students I mentor the other day and they asked me what I suggested they look for in a woman. I said immediately "you have to look for a woman that you respect more then any other on the planet." Beth has handled this whole ordeal with such grace and perseverance. She spent hours on end right along side Harper in that dark and dingy room supporting her through this. Harper is lucky to have the most amazing woman on the planet for a Mom and I'm glad I was smart enough to never let go of her when we met 13 years ago.

• That God above all else appreciates honesty. I have to say that at times we were very angry at God through this. We told him too. And when we did he never failed to pull us through the next day. I think we can all get wrapped up in phony formalities with God but really I've learned that He wants us to just lay it out there and when we do that He answers, just as He did for Beth and I through all of this.

So now begins the official start of our new family at home. Beth and I are just so stinkin excited and despite running on no sleep just can't wipe the smiles off our faces. That being said, I need to figure out something about this "pink bomb" that went off in our house. I mean seriously, I grew up in a family of all guys so all these bows, outfits, headbands, accessories are quite out of the ordinary. I'm catching myself wanting to amp up the testosterone in the household to even the keel a bit. Maybe I'll start watching Nascar, or take up building stuff, or buy a bunch of flannel shirts and not shave for a year. On second thought, maybe I'll just try my best to embrace all this girlyness. But I secretly hope Harper will pick up her Dad's love of the roundball, but hopefully will focus more on scoring then fouling out. But as she's already taught me, that's up to her.

Thanks to all for following our little journey and for all the support. I'm not quite sure what will happen with this blog. My dad duties might consume my time and this thing could fade away into oblivion. But I might just give it a shot at keeping it going, in an attempt to continue to document this new adventure in our lives. Furthermore, this has also been quite the exciting year on other fronts including a trip to India, some significant time spent in the hood with at risk youth, among other things so I might just put a few thoughts out here from time to time. So thanks again to all for your love, support, and prayers. Stay tuned!